As human beings we have this tendency to hold on to things. Even the things that have no positive impact on our lives. We hold on to these things for a variety of reasons but the most common is that we believe that without these things our life will be less or worse we are less.
And that’s what I want to talk about today.
Letting go can often be a catalyst for change in our lives. Letting go of a relationship, a habit, an idea can all have a scary impact on our life and that’s often the block for keeping hold of the things that do not serve us.
The thing is though holding on to these things can often be the thing that is holding you back especially in business.
Take a negative relationship for example. You have a person in your life who for whatever reason is a drain. They put themselves down, they have a negative outlook on life, they put you down. Sometimes those things aren’t always recognisable but you will often find that your interaction with this person leaves you feeling down, about yourself, your business and your life in general.
Unfortunately we can’t just get rid of the people in our lives especially family and you might also genuinely love and care about this person but if you don’t then separating yourself from them should be a priority.
If it is someone who you love and care about you have a choice in how you interact with them and you can choose to protect yourself.
Their opinion or world view or opinion of you is not YOUR truth. Having a strong sense of self, believing in yourself and having clear boundaries with this person and your interaction is the only way to protect yourself.
Letting go of these relationships can set you free. However, there is a bigger thing that we hold on to.
Our negative view of ourselves.
When we are born we are not born with the idea that we are not enough. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not clever enough… I can go on and on. We collect these views of ourselves through our experiences.
And they often run deep. An embarrassing experience when we were younger can often be carried forward into adulthood as a story we tell about ourselves. Worse than that parents can have a huge impact and these are the people we put all our trust into from day one.
My story throughout a lot of my adult life has been impacted by the relationship with my Father.
He was not interested in us and never has been. His own issues played a part in that and most of my childhood saw him coming in and out of the home. He left us many times and one of my earliest memories is chasing him down the street in the middle of winter screaming for him to come back.
His abandonment of me made me feel unworthy.
I tried for many years to have a relationship with him. And even now there is a pang of hurt when I see others with their Dads who love and care about them. I could never work it out why he never really wanted a relationship with me.
And for years the story was: I must not be good enough.
That one idea planted in my mind has had an impact on everything. My adult relationships were impacted with a sense that I would always be abandoned by these people. I believed that I was never worthy of anything more than what life gave me good or bad. And I had a tendency to run away when things got difficult. Mirroring the behaviour of my Dad.
Five years ago I let him go. We haven’t spoken in that time and I doubt we will again. I also forgave him and myself but that wasn’t an overnight process that took work.
It was only then that I was able to start to let go of the negative view of myself that had been conditioned into me for years. That idea had shaped my behaviours and ultimately been the cause of many mistakes in my life.
Even today it’s still a work in progress.
But even that level of self-awareness has had a positive impact on my life. When I feel myself falling into an old negative pattern that can lead to self sabortage, I have the sense of self to know that the story I am telling myself in that moment is not true and I can let it go.
We all hold on to things. Fear of what if is often the reason we don’t let go. Change is scary. Changing ourselves is even scarier.
However, we don’t deserve to be weighed down by those things that do not serve us. We deserve to fly. We deserve to be fully open to opportunity, ideas and relationships that support us and allow us to go after what we want from our lives.
But it starts with you and your own personal change.
What idea about yourself are you holding on to that is holding you back?
Once you work that out and why then everything else outside of you is easy to let go of.
And once you let go then there will be the room in your life for all the wonderful things you want for yourself.
Have a great week.
I AM RUNNING A HUGE COMPETITION
Ahead of the launch of my new service I am running a competition for a prize for one business owner to help them increase their visibility and it’s worth £990.00
I am so excited about this. I started The Woman & The Wolf because I wanted to help others increase the visibility of their businesses and my new service is going to see me help so many more.
And I couldn’t think of a better way to launch it than to give away a huge prize that will make the world of difference to someone out there.
If you want to enter just click on this button…