March was a bizarre month. It started off so hopeful and within the reflection work I have been doing this weekend I have pinpointed several wonderful things that happened and that I got to do like photograph some awesome weddings and two amazing women for their personal branding.
That being said my self-worth has been at an all-time low. And in the interest of transparency and authenticity, I am going to share why and the lessons I have learnt in the hope it may help someone else.
The wedding industry this year seems to be taking a hit. I don't know why but upon reaching out to other established suppliers I know, I have discovered they are experiencing the same thing. Enquiries are down and so are bookings. Some people say Brexit, others say it's just one of those years. My main income comes from photographing weddings so although January & Feb saw me tell myself that its fine things will pick up..... March struck fear into my heart.
I have spent the month confused. Anxiety crept in and then the self-doubt. Mix that with the social media perception of everyone else doing so much better than me and we had a full-blown downward spiral. My self-worth has been at an all-time low.
My work must be awful.
I am just rubbish and I will never be good enough.
I can't run a business.
I should just quit.
All regular things I have been saying to myself for the past few weeks. It wasn't until I reached out to others that I realised that what was happening has been out of my control. People I was comparing myself to have been experiencing the same thing and I think they are amazing!
So I got to thinking about self-worth and why we seem to base our value of ourselves on external factors. Factors such as money, Facebook/Instagram likes, how many comments we get, number of enquiries we get a month, how often our phone pings at us etc the list is endless and we don't just measure our self-worth on the success of our business or social media, materialistic things are often used as a way to measure our value.
This is all bullshit.
Self-worth is not measured by external things, it is measured internally.
YOU DECIDE WHAT YOUR SELF WORTH IS.
Huh??? I can decide what my value is?
You can decide what you are worth. You can decide what the value of your time is. You can decide to treat yourself in a way that sets the guidelines for how others are going to treat you. How you value yourself will determine your actions to everyone else.
Let me explain a little more bluntly. If you treat yourself like shit and your self-talk is repeatedly putting yourself down that's the invitation for the rest of the world to treat you like shit.
Everybody and I repeat EVERYBODY faces struggles and adversity in their lives. No one gets away from it and it does not matter how wealthy you are or how many followers you have the only promise in life is that it won't always be easy.
And if you pin your value as a human being on to those external factors all that will happen is an endless cycle of shame filled self-sabotage.
So what did I do to pull myself out of the hole?
Well on Saturday I sat down and wrote down every single great thing that happened in March. Guess what?? There were loads of things that were amazing. Things I hadn't appreciated because I was to busy being focused on the negative.
Then I wrote down all the things that I felt went wrong. I then took a step back and decided whether each of those things were within my control. If they were I examined them further and looked for the lesson to take forward and improve for next time. If they were out of my control, I let them go.
Instantly I felt better.
The next thing I did was write down 3 things I love about myself. They are now going to be rewritten in my journal every day so I can constantly remind myself of my real self-worth. They are the following:
I care deeply about others.
I always do my best at everything I do to the best of my ability.
I have great self-awareness and integrity.
So on that note below in the comments tell me three things about you that you love about yourself.
And I hope you have had a great Easter!
My name is Ami and I am primarily a photographer based in London who specialises in personal brand and commercial imagery for women in business.
I offer a range of service from full branding to mini headshot sessions that I hold 4 times a year. I really believe that the best way to connect with your clients is on an emotional and personal level that be done through beautiful imagery.
I will also be offering empowering boudoir for women who want to be brave and show a side of themselves they have never let out before later in 2018.
I am also a wedding photographer at Rubie Love Photography so emotion and authenticity is something I am not only an expert in but I also thrive on.
If you want to know more about what I do just click on the buttons