Why you need to be YOU

brand photographer in London

In this modern day age of social influence, fierce competition and sadly bullying it is becoming harder and harder for individuals to really embrace and love who they are.

We are bombarded daily with content that tells us we are not enough, or that we should be more like this person. On an even deeper level it happens within our own communities where we feel as though not fitting in with the image of our peers will see us excluded from the support we all need.

So we desperately try to mould ourselves into the aesthetic we think we should be in order to feel included and liked. Or in the case of business for us to thrive.

This is deeply unhealthy. The toll it can take on our mental well being is huge as well as the fact it can lead us down a path of making decisions that do not do us any favours long term.

I wrote recently about finding your own version of success and this blog post goes hand in hand with that as being you is the only way to find true success in life. To often I see people influenced or moulded negatively by their peers who ultimately don’t care about their well being and that makes me really sad.

The scary thing about remaining true to who you are often means shedding the people who are not going to like the real you because it either threatens them or means they are unable to manipulate you in order to validate themselves. This is hard and makes living an authentic life no easy task.

The rewards though far outweigh the loss of those who have no positive impact on your life. Being you is where freedom really lies. It’s where you find happiness on a deeper level. Not that short lived dopamine fix quickly followed by emptiness when you have compromised yourself for the approval of someone else.

Don’t trade your authenticity for appoval

The quote above is one I live by. Day in day out. I have to remind myself of it as I am a natural people pleaser. Abandonment by my Dad probably created that. He is a mass manipulator who makes you feel amazing when you are in his favour but is very quick to make you feel like nothing more than dirt on his shoe if you aren’t fitting in with how he wants you to be.

The obvious need for the love and approval of a parent is where a lot of people’s false self can come from. It’s something that can shape us as a child and then into adulthood.

It took me until my late 20s to fully let go of the need to be loved by my Dad.

Being you and loving you is the only way to live a full life.

It’s also a form of protection. Once you fully step into a true sense of self with the emotional intelligence to support that then you can really fly.

You will find yourself comfortable with your own company, no longer feeling the need to say yes to everything in order to stay in favour of those who do you no good just because you need to feel included.

You will find that your time is quality time, spent doing what you love with who you really love.

You will stop caring about the opinion of others who don’t like you and you will find that the relationships you do build are healthy and authentic ones.

You will also develop the ability to have a better understanding of the actions of other people. Something that may of bought on an unhealthy anger or deep depression before will yes give a pang of hurt but it won’t effect you on the deeper level it did before.

There are so many benefits to being you. It is however, a constant work in progress. Life has a way of challenging and shaping us in ways that we never possibly imagined and it takes work to maintain and strong sense of self.

It’s 100% worth it though.

Ami xx


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ami robertson