Rejection and why its so powerful.
Isn't that a big scary word up there. Its probably the most common shared fear of women in business. The absolute terror of putting yourself out there only to be told that your work isn't wanted. And I can guarantee that almost of us take that to heart.
Because I also know that you put your heart and soul into your business.
So how can you not take it personally? I actually don't believe that you shouldn't not take it to heart. That feeling is a reminder of how much you love and believe in what you do and if it doesn't hurt when someone else doesn't feel the same way then maybe you shouldn't be doing what you are doing.
I have had more rejection in my life since starting my business. When I first started it absolutely scared the shit out of me to put myself out there. Then I realised something. If I am not getting rejected then that means that I am not trying and if I am not trying then how will I succeed?
Take this week for example. Emotionally I am not in a great place with what has happened in the past few months I am however self aware enough to know that and how to deal with it. Thing is though I really want to see my businesses grow so for that to happen I have to put myself out there. So this week I have been focusing on visibility and PR. The best place in the wedding world for that is the wedding blogs.
So I chose a couple of weddings did some research and spent a whole day doing submissions. I was convinced I had got it right. Three very polite rejections later for one particular wedding I loved and I was spiralling slightly.... my work must not be good enough, I am not good enough... I definitely should not be a wedding photographer anymore. Then I pulled myself together.
I decided to do one last submission for that wedding. And I picked the most intimidating hard to get into blog you can think of..... and what do you know? They accepted the wedding.
Now all those rejections don't matter! I was accepted by the blog that most suits the wedding and where it will be appreciated the most. However if I had let rejection control my choices that would never of happened.
I am not going to tell you that it doesn't hurt. It does.
When you get that enquiry and you put your all into your reply. It gets to consultation stage and you show up as your best self. When you have spent time and money on your brand and mastering your craft. All that and then to be told no thank you or worse no answer at all.
However you can turn it on its head....
You can choose to look at those rejections as a learning experience. What can you take from that interaction that will help you improve for next time?
You can also view it as a stepping stone. Each rejection represents another step in the direction to your version of success because while I can most definitely guarantee that you will get rejected, I can also guarantee that at some point if you stay resilient and consistent those rejections will start to become yes's.
You do however need tools. Emotionally it can become draining and remaining aware throughout every day of your business is key to staying mentally healthy and being able to grow and continue.
That is why I heartily recommend keeping a journal and practising gratitude which you can find my guide on HERE.
You can also answer the following questions and address the reasons why you are fully going after what you want....
- What is the worst thing that can happen if I get rejected for XXX?
- What is the worst thing that can happen if I do XXX?
- What reasons are stopping me from me from taking action on XXX and how can I deal with them?
- How does rejection make me feel?
- What was the worst rejection I have ever had and how did it impact my life?
I find that working on my feelings around being rejected gives me enough self awareness to make decisions on certain things. It gives me a enough knowledge to know my truth and learn NOT to allow my shit voice (we all have one) to control my actions.
I will leave you with this. It's only YOU that can get you to where you want to be no one else. So stop getting in your own way and create, share your message and believe in yourself.
My name is Ami and I am primarily a photographer based in London who specialises in personal brand and commercial imagery for women in business.
I offer a range of service from full branding to mini headshot sessions that I hold 4 times a year. I really believe that the best way to connect with your clients is on an emotional and personal level that be done through beautiful imagery.
I will also be offering empowering boudoir for women who want to be brave and show a side of themselves they have never let out before later in 2018.
I am also a wedding photographer at Rubie Love Photography so emotion and authenticity is something I am not only an expert in but I also thrive on.
If you want to know more about how I can help you just click on the button.