Why showing up as yourself is so important.
People aren't stupid they can spot a fraud a mile off.
One of the biggest lessons I have learnt on my journey of running my own businesses is that people buy from me because they want to work with me. Not because I pretend to be something I am not to try to appeal to everyone.
When I first started out as well as not having a clue I honestly wasn't entirely sure who I was. At aged 25 I was still in that awkward mid-twenties stage of working out who I was and where I fitted in. I was also desperate to be accepted by everyone. I am naturally socially awkward due to being a bit black and white and having a pet hate of small talk so that really didn't help matters.
So starting a business especially a creative one was not easy. And I constantly had a feeling of being a fraud so I would change myself to appeal to whoever would potentially hire me. This didn't work and fortunately I worked that out relatively quickly. After a couple of pretty awful experiences I made a decision to walk away from people if they didn't feel right or if we didn't click. I still wasn't 100% who I was and I certainly had yet to feel like I fitted in my own skin but that would come later.
It actually wasn't until I had been in business and seen a reasonable level of success that I decided I wanted to start working on myself. I already knew that I was impulsive, fast acting and stubborn. I also knew that I would have negative physical effects within myself if I went against my gut reaction to things. I knew I didn't tolerate wrong doing in any form and that I despise lying on all fronts. HOWEVER for a long time I felt guilty about those qualities based on interactions from other people and the fear of how others would react to me. I wasn't confident with who I was and that was effecting how I put myself out there to attract potential clients.
I needed to give myself permission to say that me and me alone was enough to go after the life I wanted. Absolutely no one else could do that for me.
You see in this day and age you have to be visible and you have to put yourself out there daily when running a business. Whether thats your work, blogging, going live, attending meetings, networking you have to show up. And that is fucking scary. In fact even after years of doing some this I still feel fear when entering a new situation.
Take last night for example. I am part of a wonderful business group of incredible women and its run by a fantastic coach (GSD Society you should totally check it out if you are feeling alone in your business adventure just click here ) and last night Lisa (the lovely coach) put together some Christmas drinks for us, including pie and chips! So good and such an amazing opportunity to network with people who I have speaking to in the facebook group for a long time. I was shitting myself, I am really not a social butterfly in any shape or form so I almost didn't go out of fear that I wasn't enough. In the end though I went, it would of been a stupid thing to not make the most of such a lovely opportunity. I had so much fun and what I found was that being myself and only myself meant I had some really engaging conversations with some wonderful women..... not a sentence of small talk within earshot!
If I had shown up and pretended to be someone other than me I know I would of been called out on it. People know when you are trying to bullshit them. Which is why in business you need to work out who you are and what you want and strive only for that.
People pleasing does not get you anywhere.
All that will happen is that you will wind up working with people you don't want to, you will be miserable and your clients will be unhappy. ESPECIALLY in the services/creative industries. If you have to work with anyone on a personal level if you aren't being yourself then its all going to go wrong and fast.
Relationships are everything in business and the ones you build authentically with other people will bring such a huge positive impact to your life and work. And you will be happy because you will be doing work you love for people that you love.
The more you show up authentically for your audience the more you will see a return for that bravery. Yep you will get negativity online and that is a GOOD thing. It's an indication that you are being yourself and appealing to likeminded people who will be beyond delighted to work with you and filtering out the people who you don't want to work with at the same time.
One thing I have had to get ok with and pretty quickly is accepting that not everyone is going to like me, not everyone is going to want to work with me, that I may not be picked. THAT'S OK!
So go out there and show up as you and get clear on what it is you want.
You only get one life and it would be a tragedy if you lived it falsely and unhappy.
Choose to live beautifully and authentically.
My name is Ami and I am primarily a photographer based in London who specialises in personal brand and commercial imagery for women in business.
I offer a range of service from full branding to mini headshot sessions that I hold 4 times a year. I really believe that the best way to connect with your clients is on an emotional and personal level that be done through beautiful imagery.
I will also be offering empowering boudoir for women who want to be brave and show a side of themselves they have never let out before later in 2018.
I am also a wedding photographer at Rubie Love Photography so emotion and authenticity is something I am not only an expert in but I also thrive on.
If you want to know more about how I can help you just click on the button.